"Know Thyself"

One thing I regret in life is that I didn’t begin to keep a journal until I was a senior in high school. What was great about this first journal was that it contained, in great detail, my first kiss and the short-lived romance that followed. Oh how I love to relive the day she stomped on my heart by leading me to think that there was still a chance, but after countless phone calls and no answer, I realized that she was just not that into me (it goes both ways). That red college-ruled notebook was filled with all kinds crazy stuff. The reason I am jabbering about this journal is because writing about my experiences in life has allowed me to capture who I am as a person and that is what I would like to discuss today.

Would you want to be in a relationship with someone who is wishy-washy and inconsistent? If you do, good luck enjoying that rollercoaster because eventually you will get sick and throw up all over that person and that person won’t be happy. An inconsistent personality is a pretty good indicator of one who is unsure about whom they are. In Dr. Neil Warrens article, Before Looking For A Partner, Look Within Yourself, he makes the claim that before you get involved in an exclusive relationship you better know who you are. Why? Because if you don’t know who you are how could you possibly know what you want in life or in a future partner?

Here are a few suggestions and questions to ask yourself from Dr. Warren (from the article above and his book, Falling In Love For All The Right Reasons) and myself on how you can connect with you:

• Keep a journal. It’s healthy and can be used as a form of therapy that you don’t have to pay for!

• This one is my favorite: Who is the one person (it might be more than one) that has the ability to make you consistently angry? Maybe you like people who push your buttons.

• Who has the ability to make you feel inspired and why?

• Does the idea of being married and committed to the same person “until death” or “forever” sound appealing?

• How important is money to you? (Obviously you need to have money to sustain your life… in most cases)

• Travel. Go somewhere you have never been for at least a week. If you or your parents are rich travel the world for a few months.

• Take a psychology class. You will be surprised at how odd you really are.

• Honestly, the best-case scenario would be to have your plane crash on some mysterious island that forces you to live like the boys in Lord of The Flies just like the T.V series Lost. If you can’t connect with yourself there, I believe you are hopeless.

To end I would like to quote Dr. Warren again. “When it comes to something as critical and all-encompassing as marriage, it’s simply unwise to hope for the best when you can know for certain who would make the best partner for you.”