"The Ultimate Goal of Man"

I am currently reading a book titled Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl. In this book the author writes about his experience in the German concentration camps. One day while struggling with the stresses of living in such terrible conditions, Viktor reflects upon his wife for strength to preserver and later makes this statement “…love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire.” The word love can be expressed many different ways. When you were in 3rd grade a girl expressed her love for you by kicking, pinching or biting you. Boy's didn’t express their love because they were taught that girls have coodies. This type of behavior is not true love. So what is true love? Psychologist Robert Sternberg has a theory on love that will answer this question.

Robert Sternberg proposed a triangular theory of love. This theory characterizes love in the context of interpersonal relationships. The triangle consists of 3 elements:

Intimacy – close bond with another person
Passion – physical attraction, sexual pleasure
Commitment – agreeing to stay faithful to another person

From these 3 basic elements, Sternberg formed 7 different types of love.



Non-love: none of the elements are present. Why bother?
Friendship or liking love: this love only carries intimacy. Best friends forever.
Infatuated love: Passion only. Here people only desire physical satisfaction. Unfortunately, this kind of love happens to be the most popular in our society.
Empty love: Nothing but commitment. That’s it… Boring.
Romantic love: Intimacy + passion. In other words “free love”, very popular in the late 60’s and early 70’s.
Companionate love: Intimacy + commitment. Some people say this is inevitable with old age.
Fatuous love: Commitment + passion. Here there is no depth to the relationship.
Consummate love: Intimacy + Passion + Commitment.

I believe Comsummate love should be the ultimate goal to which men and women must aspire to. This is the only kind of love that will endure the trails of life and the rough seas of marriage. Any love other than this will be short lived.